The Pyre Tracker’s Plight
There was once birthed a firecracker that grew to explode and cause a nirvana flare,
Shards of its fluorescence hung at a height and procured quite a glare,
Bright electric veins were skewed straight then lured by the Earth's stare,
Permeated sometime in-between midday and the night, but the exact time was never clear.
Lightning speckles magnetised by the outer atmosphere,
They’ve forfeited their fight for life and slowly they disappear,
The night was again dark with spite and ruins of rancour loud,
It was October and the mood was sombre and socked with turmoil proud,
And if I was a pyre tracker I might just have tracked the firecracker shear into an embossed cloud,
Tracked the remnants of the night’s footsteps when their imprint were no longer aloud,
Pursued through the motions sheen if I was brave and keen,
Through a hole in-between the backwash lost and forgot,
Searched the pyre cloud for an illuminate frost cold or a hell hot,
But I lurched with convulsions by a stomach that was afraid and tied by a frayed knot,
For all the things I am, a pyre tracker, I am not.
I am lethargic,
I am fatigued,
Filled with spite, but lack intrigue,
And most of all full of fear,
So I did not disappear through that slit of light lean,
Did not search for loss even though it vanished when I was near and it was seen,
Did not follow into death.
A flutter of leaved green by my side was cleft,
Whispered with a gale like motion of breath,
Swept up behind me with a hiss gentle, clean and fresh,
It was, a pyre tracker, keen and brave, and flesh,
He followed death into it’s grave,
He jumped brave into lightening torn,
In a flash he was gone,
The pyre tracker was lost in the seam of dawn,
The clouds drawn,
And he was stuck in that dark forlorn,
The gleam starts to shimmer as if the beam had never been,
Like a dark swirling blur from before we were born or from the time that he was weaned.
I’m listening for quiet, for that's the way I feel,
My hands cradle my eyes and my legs collapse to a kneel,
I memorise memories,
Thoughts of the past year grow in size,
Arise October,
Dejavu in a Siamese guise,
I can’t turn my head for the connection pains my minds eyes,
The anguish covers me with brine,
A waterfall of emotion showers me in placental shine,
I sign a cross for sins new that I saw,
They start to draw blood across my sinew that is raw,
Scab over as if a cold sore,
More hurt released in the month of October I bear and bore,
Slowed slurred memories, to escape being sober once more.
I wait for my mate, the pyre tracker like I was a pyre tracker nark,
A spy who spies alone now that it is dark,
A shark submerged in blood to subterfuge the kill,
Day still, although the light leaves no mark or shrill,
Curtains of recollect I pull, like the sky did the cloud’s cotton outer bark,
Where is that brave pyre tracker,
Why dose he not return from the journey he did embark,
The firecracker that the pyre tracker tracked again cracked,
Light turned to sound blaring and stark,
Thunder startles this shark from it’s thoughts unclear,
Where are the dolphins,
They have the same fins,
Hark me, they could be twins,
If it wasn’t for their markings and snout,
The shout and the whisper,
Their ice and fire sear,
They are of a different bread and notion,
Nothing is the same in this ocean,
Drift with eyes shielded for it's October that I fear.
Disappear,
Appear,
Continuously vesiculating,
But it just pleats the existentialism of my brain and heart,
It creases my existence with folds of repeated pain,
Mental anguish escaping like rain from those clouds to the earth,
Is it some metaphor to leave the cursed,
Friends leave selfishly as if friendship has no worth,
In a shroud as though it protects through the choice of mother earth,
More death in this month then there was any birth,
More hurt released in the month of October,
Bang,
A glimpse of the pyre tracker tasting blood,
A lot of blood,
Fingers dipping into black then to his lips,
Slurred memories to escape being sober,
Another crack of lightning like cracks from the pyre trackers whip.
Fingers rip at stalactites of fire that strip the night,
Anguish cries defy lightening wire that grip and gyre the sky at a height,
A sigh,
The pyre trackers face contorts by a gnarled force rort with preternatural law,
Although mine are closed, I see the eyes of those before,
Smiling selfish at me through him with prior primordial thoughts they tore,
And adore,
Somehow they all enjoy this month of pain,
A none existent month in their season chain,
Why and how I wish I knew,
Because then too I could find 2 things without a clue,
The first thing, the courage the pyre tracker possessed,
And the second thing would be that pyre tracker, the one now possessed.
But there are no clues leading to peace.
A piece of my peace now is decay,
Like a thick mist of thirty-one days in a day.
Of lies leased to repay lies on lay away,
It’s denial of partners unmasked to become vile,
Bleeding heart seeps my skin then released into that month of October,
Slurred memories to escape my denial,
And to escape being sober.
Looking back so one day I may track forward,
I remember the pyre trackers face,
It was hacked with a luminescent scratch and tacked to the skies black board,
It was a night scored with a grey you can’t wash off,
Red chalk thickly ground around him,
I saw my friend as though I stood aloft,
Tormenting thoughts lewd were screwed in a tight incubus hymn,
With thunder as cymbals,
And rhythm drums rumble dim,
I glimpse him once more, for only a few seconds,
His face grim,
He beckons me to follow,
But I cower into callow,
And he vanishes for ever into the pyre glare,
Leaving me to remember things that grab, ripping me to a tear,
Whether they were friends who did or lovers who didn't care,
From a precursor I endued, to whom the body I now wear,
And although maligned peace feeds upon the ruins of my thought,
It is the Pyre-trackers memory that contorts and torments me with it’s intrusion,
I wonder if the sad surprise expression on his face was just an illusion,
A death guise and he still lives tracking the pyre and life, sprinting free,
But until my next death I know that all I shall see,
Is more pain released in the month of October,
Slurred memories to escape being sober.
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